Chapter 2: Magnus and the Dark Lord/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the English version of Chapter 2: Magnus and the Dark Lord.

Air Battle
(Pit rushes to the door to start the level.)

Pit: And we're off!

(Pit leaps through the door and flies into stormy skies.)

Pit: Ugh. This weather's nasty.

Palutena: Yes, but your next mission can't wait. You must defeat Dark Lord Gaol.

Pit: Heh. "Dark lord"? Seriously? Hasn't the dark-lord thing been done to death already?

Palutena: He's earned it. He's working for Medusa. Her forces are coming from HIS castle. A human army has gone to fight him, but they don't stand a chance.

Pit: So, what you're saying is we need a brave hero to face the dark lord?

Palutena: I suppose it IS an old story. But don't forget this is the Underworld Army we're dealing with. And anybody with the title "dark lord" won't be some low-level minion.

Pit: So what are we talking here? Miniboss? ...Final boss? Well, whatever. I hope this dark lord's hungry for a hot plate of punishment!

(Lightning suddenly strikes in front of Pit.)

Pit: Augh! Is this lightning coming from the Underworld Army?

Palutena: Where else would it be coming from?

Pit: Sorry... I guess that was pretty obvious.

Palutena: If you don't watch out, we'll be having barbecued angel tonight. And though spicy angel wings sound tasty, I'd best get you out of there.

Pit: Plus...chicken is much more economical!

(Pit dives down through the storm clouds.)

Pit: Ahhhh! Much better!

Palutena: You still have to watch out for fire from Underworld troops. Let's get you headed toward land.

(Pit exits the clouds and reaches an area with several mountains and canyons.)

Pit: How in the world would the human army make it across these mountains by foot?

Palutena: Do I detect a note of smugness in your voice?

Pit: Uh... No, no, no! I'm just really happy I can fly.

Palutena: Angels shouldn't gloat, Pit.

Pit: What I meant to say is that I'm eternally grateful for your help.

Palutena: Let's make our way underground.

(Pit heads through a fissure and into an underground cave.)

Palutena: It's not the most cheerful place, is it?

Pit: The Underworld baddies seem to like it.

Palutena: I suppose it makes sense they'd feel at home underground.

Pit: It'd be like living in a basement.

(Pit abruptly stops in front of a Porcuspine.)

Pit: Why did we stop?

Palutena: Oh, I thought you might want to take in the sights. And destroy some monsters.

(Pit flies out of the cave and back into the canyon.)

Palutena: Pit, behind you!

(Pit notices a Belunka chasing after him.)

Pit: Let me at 'em!

Palutena: I'll control your flight path so you don't run into anything. Just focus on shooting and dodging.

Pit: Got it!

(Pit defeats the Belunka and flies out of the canyon.)

Palutena: Dark Lord Gaol's castle is up ahead.

Pit: But...but what about that wall?!

Palutena: Don't worry. I'll help you over.

(Pit flies upwards at high speeds.)

Pit: Whoaaaa! G-force in my faaace!

Palutena: It's fun, right?

(Pit arrives at the top of the cliff.)

Pit: Yeah! Take that, wall!

(Pit notices the human army engaged in combat with the Underworld Army.)

Pit: Look!

Palutena: The people will never defeat Gaol with the Underworld forces in their way.

Pit: The humans are taking a beating! They need our help!

Palutena: Normally I'd agree with you, but...

Pit: What is it?!

Palutena: Do you remember how long the power of flight lasts?

Pit: Five...minutes?

Palutena: And remember what happens when it runs out?

Pit: My wings...burn up?

Palutena: We don't have time to assist the people. We have to go straight for Gaol. I'll take you into the castle. From there, it's up to you to face the dark lord. His defeat will force the Underworld Army into retreat.

Pit: Roger! Get ready for a display of raw angel power!

(Pit flies down toward the castle.)

Land Battle
(Pit arrives inside Dark Lord Gaol's castle.)

Pit: So this is the dark lord's castle.

Palutena: Yes, he must've scrambled to build it after Medusa's resurrection. He's using this castle as a stronghold for Underworld monsters. Monsters designed to wreak havoc and sow sadness. Are you excited?

Pit: Yeah. It's like a birthday party where everyone wants to kill me.


 * [If Pit hesitates.]


 * Palutena: Make your way to the great hall down on the first floor.

(Pit hops through an opening in the floor, winding up in a large hall.)

Pit: This must be the great hall.

Palutena: At the top of the stairs, there's a door with switches across from it.

Pit: Switches, huh? That probably means I should hit them!

Palutena: Very...perceptive of you, Pit.

(Pit hits the switches, unlocking the door and summoning a Ganewmede.)

Palutena: The door's unlocked now. The enemy with the big skull guarding the door is a Ganewmede. They'll attack when fired at, but they don't do much at all if you don't shoot them. So I suggest using melee attacks or dash shots to take them down.

(Pit walks through a door.)

Palutena: I'm sensing treasure somewhere to your left.

Pit: How do you know that?

Palutena: From the heavens, I can see through your laurel crown to divine your surroundings.

Pit: Really? That's amazing!

Palutena: And that's not all I can see, Pit. I can also see what's in your heart.

Pit: ... Oh... Heh heh... That's really...something.

Palutena: So you'd better not be thinking about anything...naughty.

Pit: What?! How did you—?!

Palutena: Just kidding. Seriously, reading hearts through laurel crowns?

Pit: I know... I was...also kidding.

Palutena: Sure you were.


 * [In the room with the Treasure Boxes to the left, a weapon conversation or random conversation may trigger.]

(Pit heads down some steps.)

Palutena: You're heading to the lower level of the interior garden.

(Pit rushes into the garden and sees Magnus fighting two Skuttlers and Shemum.)

Pit: Look at that!

Palutena: How did a human make it into the castle?

(Magnus turns and notices Pit.)

Magnus: Well, I didn't expect to see an angel here. Hope this doesn't mean I've kicked the bucket.

Palutena: I think you should help him.

Pit: He's taking on the Underworld Army himself...and surviving! Are you sure this guy is really a human?

Palutena: Absolutely.

Magnus: You having a private conversation with yourself, angel face?

Pit: Oh, right. Sorry about that. I'm Pit, servant of the goddess Palutena. I'm here to defeat Dark Lord Gaol.

Magnus: So you're here for a slice of the pie too?

Pit: Huh? Pie? Where? No, I mean... I'm here to defend the humans from the brutality of the Underworld Army.

Magnus: Sure, sure, you're the angel here. But me, I'm in it for the reward money. Since we both want to take down Gaol, how about we work together?

Pit: I don't know about that...

Magnus: What have you got to lose? It'll be easier on both of us.

Pit: Lady Palutena...what do you think?

Palutena: He makes a compelling argument.

Pit: All right, then. Resuming mission Dark Lord Suppression!

Magnus: I'm Magnus, by the way. Pleased to meet you. Don't hit me, and we'll get along just fine.

Magnus: I'll follow your lead from here. I've got your back.

(Pit reaches the end of a narrow, underground passage.)

Pit: Magnus sure is strong.

Palutena: Yes, especially for a human.

Pit: He must really want that reward.

Palutena: He may not be made of the sturdiest moral fiber, but that's fine with me.

Pit: I'm surprised you feel that way.

Palutena: Humans are driven by desire. It's convenient to know what bait they'll chase.

Pit: That's kinda cold, but it makes sense. I guess.

Magnus: Hey, if you're chatting with your precious goddess, give her a message from me. Tell her she's been sleeping on the job! My world is on the edge of collapse!

Palutena: I take it back. This guy's a jerk.

Pit: O...K...

(Pit and Magnus go through an elevator, arriving on a higher floor.)


 * [If Pit enters the Hot Spring room to the right.]


 * Pit: Wait, is this...? Ha! It is! A hot spring!


 * Magnus: Apparently, someone likes his spa time.


 * [If Pit enters the Hot Spring while the previous dialogue plays.]


 * Pit: Ahhh... Now that's what I'm taking about!


 * Magnus: You go in fully dressed? Don't you at least want to change into a...swimming tunic or something?


 * Pit: Oh, no no no! The angel's code of conduct says that we must always be ready for duty.


 * Magnus: I guess you wouldn't be an angel if you didn't do things by the book.


 * Pit: Yeah...and I don't want to steam the sacred buns.


 * Magnus: We're done talking about this.


 * [If Pit approaches the Treasure Box to the left.]


 * Pit: Yeah! A treasure box!


 * Magnus: That's clearly a trap. Think about it. Who would leave treasure just lying around outside?


 * [If Pit proceeds and takes the loot from the Treasure Box.]


 * Magnus: What is wrong with you?!


 * Pit: If there's a treasure box, I open it! I can't help it!


 * Magnus: OK, we'll see how long you survive with that strategy!

(Pit enters a room with a long, spiraling pathway.)

Pit: It looks like a long way up.

Magnus: What, do your legs not work or something?

(Pit and Magnus approach the top of the path.)

Pit: I think we're closing in on Gaol's lair.

Magnus: I hope you're ready.

Boss Battle
(Pit and Magnus arrive in the throne room.)

Pit: Prepare for defeat, Dark Lord Gaol!

Gaol: Aw, Palutena's little messenger boy. And Magnus, it's always a pleasure.

Magnus: Sorry I'm late. I had other business to attend to.

Pit: Wait, you two know each other?

(The battle initiates.)

Gaol: It's so typical of you to pawn off your work on someone else.

Magnus: Hey! In this economy, everyone's looking for work. Even part time work.

Gaol: That's funny. Business is booming for me. We're even hiring more staff!

(Two Skuttlers appear.)

Magnus: Huh, are these the new hires?

Palutena: I don't know much about the situation... But it seems that Magnus and Gaol used to be close friends.

Pit: What?! Seriously?!

Palutena: They were part of the same band of monster-fighting mercenaries. But Gaol's heart was weak, and he couldn't resist the temptation of the Underworld.

Pit: Seeing them fighting, it's hard to believe they were ever friends.

Palutena: Magnus only knows one way to fight: ferociously. Perhaps his fire is fueled by the child he lost to Underworld troops.

Pit: I had no idea. That's so sad...


 * [If Magnus hasn't been defeated up to this point.]


 * Magnus: Hey, enough chitchat! We need to concentrate here!


 * Gaol: Feeling a little agitated, Magnus?


 * Magnus: Don't make me laugh, "dark lord"! Now put on some pants, and fight like a man!


 * [If Magnus has already been defeated.]


 * Magnus: Ugh... You and your mouth.


 * Gaol: Hmph. I almost feel sorry for the two of you. But not quite. I'll rip this angel to shreds first. Then I'll take care of you.

(Pit defeats Gaol.)

Pit: Dark lord suppressed!

Magnus: Nice work, angel face!

Epilogue
(Gaol stumbles backward and falls, causing her armor to break apart and reveal a human woman inside.)

Magnus: ...I'm sorry it had to come to this.

Pit: Gaol was a human? I-I didn't know... What have I done...

Palutena: You can't feel bad. Just think of all the other people you've saved. Besides, she looks like she's still holding on.

Pit: Really?!

(Pit attempts to rush over to Gaol, only for a pillar of light to appear over him and lift him off the ground.)

Palutena: But we need to regroup. The war against Medusa is just starting.

(Palutena whisks Pit away.)