Chapter 5: Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the English version of Chapter 5: Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit.

Air Battle
(Pit rushes to the door to start the level.)

Palutena: Your destination is Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit.

(Pit leaps through the door and flies through the air.)

Palutena: The Reapers certainly hid it well...

Pit: What are you talking about? I don't see anything.

(A crack in the sky appears.)

Pit: Whoa!

Palutena: And here we have a space pocket. In you go!

Pit: O-OK!

(Palutena sends him through the crack and into a green tunnel.)

Pit: This is getting weird...

Palutena: You'd have to be pretty out there to base your operations in a place like this.

Pit: Well, Pandora has always been pretty out there.

(The Touch Screen displays Pandora's new appearance.)

Palutena: It's true. The goddess of calamity even LOOKS pretty out there. I guess it's no surprise that the path to her would be as twisted as she is.

Pit: "Twisted"? I'd say "unhinged" is more like it!

(The labyrinth comes into view.)

Pit: What's that?

Palutena: Pandora's Labyrinth of Deceit!

(Pit heads into the labyrinth.)

Pit: Whoa!

Palutena: This is not what I expected.

(A red pillar rises in front of Pit.)

Palutena: You have to watch out for those red posts.

(Pit abruptly stops at a solid wall made to look like an open path.)

Pit: This is crazy!

Palutena: Tricky tricky. A false path... Pandora is trying to psych you out.

Pit: How does Pandora come up with this stuff?

Palutena: Messing with people is what she does best.

(Pit abruptly stops at another solid wall made to look like an open path.)

Pit: Not again!

Palutena: Uh-huh. Another psych out.

(Pit approaches a path leading downward.)

Palutena: Going down!

Pit: OK!

Palutena: The path branches up ahead.

(The Touch Screen displays branching paths with arrows, allowing the player to decide which path to take.)

Palutena: Tell you what—I'll let you decide which way to go this time.

Pit: Does that mean you don't know the way?!


 * [If Pit chooses the right path.]


 * (Pit stops at a dead end.)


 * Pit: This is a dead end!


 * Palutena: Looks like you're trapped. Pulling you out of there!

(Pit goes through the left path.)

Palutena: Oh, my.

Pit: We can't let her get to us! I have to hustle before the power of flight runs out.

Palutena: That would be...problematic. You see, I can't extract you if Pandora's powers are still active.

Pit: I'll just pretend you didn't say that!

(Pit arrives in a room full of Handoras.)

Palutena: It's a Handora ambush!

Pit: Wha—?! It's Pandora time already?!

Palutena: No, no, I said Handora. You know, the...hand...monster.

Pit: For a master of deceit, that's pretty weak!

(A hole opens up in the ground.)

Pit: A way out!

Palutena: Now's your chance!

(Pit flies through the hole and ends up in an area that looks like the Overworld section of Chapter 1's Air Battle.)

Pit: Wait a second... Whoa! I'm outside now?

Palutena: This could be another trick...

Pit: But it all seems so real...

(The screen suddenly goes black, then flickers before the labyrinth reappears.)

Pit: Well, THIS is confusing.

Palutena: It isn't called the Labyrinth of Deceit for nothing, Pit.

Pit: The name is the only straightforward thing about this place!

(The Touch Screen displays branching paths with arrows, allowing the player to decide which path to take again.)

Palutena: The path branches again.


 * [If Pit chooses the left path.]


 * (Pit stops at a dead end.)


 * Pit: Ugh, don't tell me this is a dead end!


 * Palutena: Let's go back before the power of flight runs out.

(Pit goes through the right path and abruptly stops at a wall.)

Pit: Is THIS a dead end?

Palutena: Yes...? No...? Uh...

(Pit heads out of the path he was on.)

Pit: We're losing our grip here!

Palutena: No, I just need to think.

Pit: Could you think a little faster please?

Palutena: I'm...I'm getting a handle on things now. OK, watch out for the columns around you. They'll reflect your fire!

(Pit flies through a tunnel and ends up in space.)

Palutena: O...K...

Pit: Ugh, this is hurting my head.

Palutena: I believe we're close to our target.

Pit: Then let's do this!

(Pit takes a jump pad to a narrow, cyberspace tunnel, which leads back into the labyrinth.)

Palutena: We're nearing the landing spot.

Pit: You're sure it's not another illusion, right?

(Palutena sends Pit down to a platform.)

Land Battle
(Pit lands on the platform and looks around.)

Pit: Huh?!

(The camera suddenly flips, and Pit is sent plummeting down to the real floor.)

Pit: Yeeow! Ow!

(Pit gets to his feet and walks through a door.)

Pandora: Quite the thrill seekers, aren't you?

Pit: Pandora, goddess of calamity!

Palutena: We let ourselves in. Hope you don't mind.

Pandora: Oh, please. Make yourselves at home. Doesn't bother me. But you should know that the whole "goddess of calamity" was really the old me. The new me leads a more grounded life. Yoga, macrobiotics, reflexology.

Pit: Don't you need feet for that?

Pandora: How dare you take that tone with me?! Especially since calamity is really more YOUR domain these days!

Palutena: Uh...

Pandora: It's really quite insulting.

(Pit walks into a room with multiple doors.)

Pit: There're so many doors...

Palutena: And I'm sure there are just as many tricks.

Pandora: Uh, no doy.


 * [If Pit takes either the door furthest to the left, or the door second to the left.]


 * Pit: What?!


 * Palutena: You're back where you started.


 * [If Pit takes a different left door than the one he previously picked.]


 * Pit: Ugh! Again?


 * Pandora: You seem to have a thing for this room.


 * [If Pit tries to enter one of the doors that hurt him.]


 * (The door opens and damages Pit, sending him backwards.)


 * Pit: Ooof!


 * Palutena: That's one of the oldest tricks in the book.


 * Pit: Grrrr!


 * [If Pit tries to enter additional doors that hurt him.]


 * (The door opens and damages Pit, sending him backwards.)


 * Pit: Ooof!

(Pit enters a room with a Girin, which hops out of the ground when Pit either approaches or damages it.)

Pit: Gross! It's a giant bug!

Palutena: It jumps out of the ground and emits a shock wave when it lands. And technically speaking, it's not a bug. It's an Underworld Girin.

Pit: Thanks for the science lesson. Anything else I need to know?

Palutena: You need to dodge its shock waves.

Pit: No, what I NEED is a giant bug zapper.

(Pit enters a room with moving walls.)

Pit: Where are we?

Palutena: The Hall of Marvelous Moving Walls.

Pandora: Your delivery stinks. Say it with feeling. This isn't public radio, you know.

(Pit approaches the back of the room.)

Palutena: Be careful with that moving wall.

Pandora: We've got a delicious Pit panini on the menu today.

(Pit enters another room with different moving walls.)

Pit: Um... So, what's up with the walls in HERE?

Palutena: Watch them carefully, and try to time your movements.

(Pit arrives in a practice track with an Exo Tank.)

Palutena: Look! An Exo Tank!

Pit: Now that is one heavenly ride!

Palutena: Technically, it's a vehicle of the gods. Why don't you take it for a spin? To get in, walk up to it and press the attack button.


 * [If Pit hops into the Exo Tank.]


 * Palutena: As you slide the Circle Pad, an arrow will appear by the Exo Tank. That arrow shows you which way you're headed. Don't just take off. Use the Touch Screen to face the direction you want to go... Then slide the Circle Pad forward! This should ensure a nice, stable ride for you.


 * Pit: OK, thanks for the explanation!


 * Palutena: Just always be looking ahead and facing the direction you want to go. To get out, tap the arrow on the Touch Screen.


 * Pit: What's an Exo Tank doing here anyway?


 * Pandora: I wanted to get my driver's license. So I whipped up a little parking lot to practice in. But then it hit me. How am I supposed to steer without hands?


 * Pit: How'd you build a parking lot without hands?


 * Pandora: Hard work and determination.


 * Palutena: Once you've practiced enough, go ahead and move on. Tap the arrow on the Touch Screen to get out of the Exo Tank.

Pit: Refresh my memory. What am I doing here again?

Palutena: Pandora has the Mirror of Truth, making her Medusa's most valuable commander.

Pit: Uh, what's the Mirror of Truth?

Pandora: I'll bet smarty-pants here knows the answer.

Palutena: The Mirror of Truth makes a copy of whatever stands before it.

Pit: So, hypothetically speaking, it could turn one ice-cream sundae into two?

Pandora: And that's why you're one of the great minds of our time.

(The Touch Screen displays a diagram of the Mirror of Truth copying a Mik.)

Palutena: It copies what's in your heart and creates beings identical in nature. So what Pandora possesses is a way to create monsters on a catastrophic scale.

Pandora: That's one way of looking at things.

Pit: Then it has the potential to make entire ARMIES for Medusa. We have to destroy it! But wait... Does the mirror copy the reflection's soul too? Or just the body?

Palutena: That's a good question. Maybe Pandora will tell us.

Pandora: Do I LOOK like a strategy guide? In case you haven't noticed, this isn't the Ask Auntie Pandora hour.

Pit: She makes a good point, especially when she yells.

(Pit enters a room with rotating platforms.)

Pit: Whoa! How do I deal with THIS?

Palutena: First, get a sense for the timing. Then use jumps or dashes to make your way across.

Pandora: Having fun there?

Palutena: Pandora certainly has...interesting ideas about interior design.

Pandora: Rude rude rude! You don't see me breaking into YOUR home and criticizing YOUR style. I mean, marble columns? Really? How gauche!

(Pit approaches a set of platforms shaped like letters.)

Palutena: Those orange platforms seem to spell something.

Pit: Ooh, ooh! Like a secret message? Can you decode it?

Palutena: It says...P-A-N...D-O-R-A... It...doesn't seem like there's much to decode here.

Pit: Well, that was a letdown.

Pandora: You're just jealous of my knack for interior design AND my flair for spelling.

Palutena: Yes. I'll never have powers like yours.

(Pit enters a seemingly endless hall.)

Pit: Uh...what's this?! The exit's moving away!

Pandora: Maybe you should stop running in place then.

(Pit enters a room with green mats on the floor, which boost Pit into the air with contact.)

Pit: I guess it's bouncy time...

Pandora: I thought trampolines would add a touch of whimsy to my humble abode.

Palutena: But you can't even use them!

Pandora: So what? I thought it would be fun to watch people bounce around on them. And I was right! ...Even though this is the first time someone's made it this far.

Pit: Well, there's another achievement to throw up next to "Slaying Pandora"!

Pandora: Don't make ME throw up.


 * [If Pit encounters the Mimicutie in the level 4 Intensity Gate.]


 * Pit: Check out this treasure box!


 * Pandora: Say hello to Mimicutie!


 * Palutena: Aw! Who's a Mimicutie!


 * Pandora: It's been DYING for some company.


 * Pit: Thanks, but no thanks!


 * [If Pit enters the level 8 Intensity Gate.]


 * (Pit enters a room with 8-bit textures, with the back wall displaying a Store screen from the original Kid Icarus.)


 * Pit: Whoa! Now this takes me back! Ah, memories...

(Pit enters another room with an Exo Tank.)

Palutena: This must be some sort of Exo Tank racetrack. You might as well try it out since you're here. Use the attack button to get in.


 * [On the racetrack, a random conversation may trigger.]

(Pit races around the track once.)

Palutena: A ramp has appeared next to the starting point. Take it up to move forward.

Pit: You know I appreciate your help, Lady Palutena. But I'd be totally fine without all this hand-holding too.

Pandora: That's right. Hand-holding is strictly prohibited here. Not to be rude, but I have to project a certain aura of toughness.

Palutena: We understand. Rules of being a boss.

(Pit enters a room with invisible walkways.)

Pit: Is this a dead end?

Pandora: Hmm. I guess you'd better turn back.

Palutena: No, it's a trick. There's an invisible path you can walk on.

Pandora: Do you have to ruin EVERYthing? Honestly now.

Palutena: Shoot downward in front of you to reveal the path.

Pit: Ah, so there IS a path!


 * [If Pit falls off the path.]


 * Palutena: Careful there. Shoot areas you can't see, and check your path as you make your way forward.


 * [Near the path with the Girin, a random conversation may trigger.]

Palutena: Pandora is just up ahead. It's time for you to destroy the Mirror of Truth!

Boss Battle
(Pit heads through the door, and Pandora emerges from behind the Mirror of Truth.)

Pandora: You made it. Yay.

Pit: Pandora!

(Pit begins striking several poses.)

Pit: Underling of Medusa floating before me! It's time for you to atone for your crimes. I am Pit, servant of the goddess of light! And you. Are. History!

(Pandora blinks as Pit awkwardly stands still.)

Palutena: What was that all about?

(The battle initiates.)

Pandora: OK, whatever. Do what you're gonna do.

Pit: What kind of attitude is that to have? I can take anything but indifference!

Pandora: What's the point of getting worked up? What's the point of anything, really?

Palutena: Quite an existentialist view for a ball of vapor.

Palutena: It doesn't seem like you're doing much damage to Pandora. Meleeing her bombs back at her will be more effective. Try that.

(Pit defeats Pandora.)

Pandora: OK, OK. I'll give you what you came for.

(Pandora teleports to the mirror.)

Pandora: Here it is. The Mirror of Truth.

(Pandora floats behind the mirror, presenting it to Pit.)

Palutena: Pit! You have to destroy that mirror!

(Pit starts running toward the mirror.)

Pit: Yaaaaaaah!

(Pit goes to dropkick the mirror, and sees his reflection's wings begin to radiate a purple aura and his eyes gleam red.)

Pit: Huh?!

(As Pit shatters the mirror, Dark Pit bursts out from the other side. Pit lands and notices Dark Pit.)

Pit: What the—

(Dark Pit looks over his shoulder at Pit.)

Dark Pit: Hey.

Pandora: Let's get right to introductions. This here is Dark Pit. He'll be your escort out of this life.

(Dark Pit unexpectedly punches Pandora, sending her flying backwards.)

Pandora: No!

Dark Pit: Speak for yourself.

(The battle initiates again.)

Pandora: You fool! You were created to serve ME! Your opponent's over there!

Dark Pit: You're A boss, Pandora. But you're not MY boss!

Pit: Wait, so was creating Dark Pit part of Pandora's plan all along?

Palutena: Having an angel CAN come in handy. And he's quite the little scrapper, isn't he? Use his scrappitude to your advantage and take down Pandora together.

Pandora: The Mirror of Truth is just that. It reflects the truth. It seems that under that cute veneer of yours, Pit, you're actually quite ferocious.

Pit: You don't know anything about me!

(Pit defeats Pandora.)

Pit: And that's that!

Dark Pit: ... Took you long enough.

Epilogue
(Pandora explodes, and Dark Pit rushes over to Pit and kicks him in the stomach.)

Pit: Ooogh!

(Pit is sent flying backwards and roughly lands on his stomach.)

Palutena: Pit!

Dark Pit: That's for ripping off my look.

Pit: I'M the original here!

(Dark Pit leaps through the remnants of Pandora and absorbs her energy.)

Palutena: What are you doing?!

Dark Pit: Just making sure Pandora's powers don't go to waste!

(Dark Pit rises into the air and flies off.)

Pit: He can fly?!

Palutena: If he has Pandora's powers, he could be allied with Medusa. We need to follow him.

(A light shines down over Pit, whisking him away.)