Chapter 24: The Three Trials/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the English version of Chapter 24: The Three Trials.

Air Battle
(Pit rushes to the door to start the level.)

Pit: It's go time!

(Pit leaps through the door.)

Palutena: Given the current circumstances, I don't see how we can defeat Hades.

Pit: So you got us some help?

Palutena: Not yet. That's why we're going to meet Dyntos.

Pit: Cool! I can't wait to meet the god of snacks!

(The Touch Screen displays Dyntos.)

Palutena: Actually, he's the god of the FORGE. He made the Three Sacred Treasures. He creates ALL weapons, even that sad little one you're using now.

Pit: It's not sad! It's awesome!

(The Touch Screen displays the Three Sacred Treasures in red.)

Palutena: Thanks to Hades, the Three Sacred Treasures are out of commission. But I'm hoping Dyntos will create a new weapon for you.

Pit: A superpowered one, right?

Palutena: Yes, but I should warn you—

Pit: Good thing he's on our side!

Palutena: Well...not yet.

Pit: So we've got Underworld troops and the Forces of Nature here...

Palutena: Yes.

Pit: Does that seem weird to you?

Palutena: Very.

Pit: There are even some Aurum troops in the mix. What exactly is going on here?

(Dyntos's Workshop comes into view.)

???: Wha ha ha ho ho!

Dyntos: Why, hello there, Palutena. And hello to your little helper as well!

Pit: Hey, Dyntos!

Dyntos: That's Lord Dyntos to you, sonny!

Palutena: I apologize for his impertinence, sir. Ahem, so do you know why we're here?

Dyntos: Of course! You want to slay Hades to protect the celestial balance.

Palutena: That's exactly right.

Dyntos: Oh, to be young, energetic...and have a head stuffed with wool! I jest, I jest. I like the cut of your jib! If you can make it all the way to me AND pass my three trials, I'll lend you a hand.

(Pit begins approaching Dyntos's Workshop.)

Palutena: Up ahead is Dyntos's workshop.

Pit: Oooh! Fancy!

(Palutena sends Pit into the workshop through the front entrance.)

Pit: From the outside, you wouldn't think a hall this big could fit inside.

Palutena: It IS a bit incongruous.

Pit: How did these enemies get in here?

Dyntos: I made them. They might be forgeries, but they're superior to the originals. And they're just the tip of the iceberg! If you don't have the gumption to handle them, you've got no shot at Hades.

Pit: So if I pass this test, you'll make a new weapon for me?

Dyntos: Yessiree. That's a promise.

Pit: You know, the Three Sacred Treasures weren't exactly durable. Can you please make sure that this new weapon won't just fall apart?

Dyntos: Palutena, you'd be wise to put a muzzle on your chicken.

Palutena: I apologize for him. Again.

Pit: I...I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to be rude.

Dyntos: That's all right. Now I don't feel bad about what's gonna happen to you.

(Pit gets to the end of the hall and finds himself in an endless night sky, where he encounters large, animated versions of various weapons.)

Pit: This doesn't look good.

Palutena: Watch out, Pit!

Dyntos: Oh ho ho ho ho! Now THIS is a hootenanny!

Pit: I'm glad one of us is having a good time!

(A large platform surrounded by tall, crystal-like pillars comes into view.)

Dyntos: Welcome, whippersnapper! Come right this way.

(Pit flies down to the platform.)

Part 1
(Pit safely arrives in the interior of Dyntos's Workshop.)

Pit: Lord Dyntos!

Dyntos: If you want a new weapon, you must prove your mettle by passing three trials. First things first. Go ahead and stand in the center of the room.

(A small platform in the center lifts Pit up to a higher level with several staircases.)

Pit: What do I do now?

Palutena: Head up those stairs. I'm sure Dyntos will explain your next step.

Dyntos: Your first trial consists of three challenges. You must overcome all three.


 * [If Pit takes the staircase behind him.]


 * Dyntos: And where do you think you're headed, sonny?


 * Palutena: You're not snooping, are you, Pit?


 * Pit: Well, excuse me! Since when is it a crime to explore a level?


 * [If Pit continues into the Zodiac Chamber.]


 * (Pit exits the Zodiac Chamber.)


 * Pit: So what's the story with that place, anyway?


 * Dyntos: That, my winged friend, was a Zodiac Chamber. As you know, Zodiac Chambers contain special weapons and powers. ...You did know that, didn't you?


 * Palutena: Information sharing is performed on a strictly need-to-know basis.

(Pit heads up a staircase, where he encounters different types of Monoeyes.)

Palutena: All sorts of enemies seem to be getting in the mix.

Pit: Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting the entire universe.

(Pit arrives on a platform with a locked door and defeats all the enemies.)

Palutena: You unlocked the door.

Pit: See you on the other side!

(Pit heads through the door, arriving at Phoenix Mountain with the Phoenix.)

Pit: I have to defeat this guy again?

Dyntos: Heh heh heh heh heh! It was just tragic seeing the majestic immortal bird felled by such a little angel.

Pit: That majestic bird tried to kill me!

Palutena: If it makes you feel any better, this Phoenix is one of Lord Dyntos's creations.

Dyntos: That was supposed to be a surprise, you big party pooper!

Palutena: You've done a lovely job with it, Lord Dyntos.

Dyntos: Well, thank you. I'm as puffed up as a pastry over the results. It may be my finest work yet!

Pit: Yeah, it looks great.

Dyntos: I'm choosing to hear only your words and not your tone, sonny.

(Pit defeats the Phoenix.)

Pit: Extinguished again!

Palutena: Sorry you had to go through that a second time.

Part 2
(Pit is teleported back to the platform he was previously at, where a new staircase forms.)

Pit: Saving the world, one mysterious door at a time!

Palutena: Proceed to the left.

(Pit continues up the staircase, where he encounters an Orne.)

Pit: Uh-oh!

Palutena: Remember, if an Orne lands even one hit on you, it's the end.

Dyntos: So don't freeze up like a lizard in roller skates.

Palutena: Oh, he won't. His style is more deer-in-the-headlights.

Pit: OK, OK, enough...

(Pit arrives on a platform with Treasure Boxes.)

Palutena: There's something weird about those treasure boxes.

Pit: What does that mean?

Dyntos: My goodness, you're thick! It means they're all traps, you dunce!


 * [If Pit waits to activate the Mimicuties.]


 * Palutena: Go ahead and defeat those Mimicuties.


 * Pit: But they're going to kick me. A lot.

(Pit defeats all the enemies, unlocking a door.)

Pit: Yeah!

(Pit heads through the door and ends up in the Reset Bomb Forest with Cragalanche.)

Pit: Hey, it's Cragalanche!

Cragalanche: ...

Pit: Strong and silent as ever, I see.

Dyntos: Yep, and he's still got a busted keister.

Pit: I have to hand it to you. Your craftsmanship and attention to detail is just amazing!

Palutena: If you wanted to, you could build the strongest army the world has ever seen!

Dyntos: Not interested. Though creating enemies is terribly fun. I use your experiences as the blueprints.

Pit: Wait... You can see into my brain?!

Palutena: Lord Dyntos is powerful beyond imagination, Pit.

Pit: Does that mean he's even more powerful than Hades?

Cragalanche: ...

Pit: I hear you, Cragalanche. This is scary stuff.

(Pit defeats Cragalanche.)

Pit: Cragalanche crushed!

Dyntos: Good work there, sonny.

Part 3
(Pit is teleported back to the platform he was previously at, where a new staircase forms.)

Palutena: All righty. On to the next boss!

(Pit continues up the staircase, where he encounters a Dohz quickly zipping about.)

Pit: How is that huge Aurum enemy moving so fast?!

Dyntos: I gave it a healthy dose of Dyntos magic! Can't have you getting bored, now can I?

(Pit arrives on a platform with several enemies and a locked door.)

Pit: So I'm back on lockdown, huh?

Dyntos: What can I say? I like to make my guests feel secure.

(Pit defeats all the enemies, unlocking the door.)

Pit: OK, moving forward!

(Pit heads through the door, arriving at the Space Pirate Ship with the Kraken.)

Palutena: The Kraken!

Pit: I'm back on the pirate ship?

Dyntos: A pretty faithful reproduction, wouldn't you say?

Pit: There's stuff here that I didn't notice before. This has to be another one of Lord Dyntos's creations, right?

Palutena: It doesn't matter if it is or isn't. That Kraken is real!

Dyntos: Why don't you get a little closer to him and verify that hypothesis, sonny? I'm sure the Kraken would like nothing more than to turn you into chum salad.

Pit: That won't be happening. I beat a Kraken once, and I can do it again!

(Pit defeats the Kraken.)

Pit: That's right, you tentafool!

Palutena: Tentafool? Uh, nice one, Pit.

Part 4
(Pit remains on the Space Pirate Ship after his fight with the Kraken.)

Pit: All right, that's the last of them! Can I have my new weapon now?

Dyntos: Not so fast. Do you remember the name of this chapter?

Pit: Uh... Wasn't it "The One Trial" or something?

Dyntos: You're a couple trials short there, sonny!

(Pit is teleported inside Dark Lord Gaol's Castle, where he encounters Magnus and Gaol.)

Magnus: Hey there.

Pit: Magnus! And...Dark Lord Gaol?

(The battle initiates.)

Pit: Why are you here with Gaol, Magnus?

Magnus: What can I say? The old god asked me to fight you, so here I am.

Gaol: Think you'll be able to take the both of us, Pit?

Pit: I don't really have a choice!

Pit: Magnus, that's really you, right?!

Magnus: The one and only.

Pit: I was sure you were another of Lord Dyntos's creations.

Palutena: That is the most likely explanation.

Dyntos: It's also the most incorrect. I just invited these two here to help test you.

Pit: In that case, I have some questions for you, Magnus! Why were you so quick to join up with me when we first met? And how come you're stronger than any other human I've ever seen? AND—

Magnus: What is this, twenty questions?

Pit: Maybe.

Magnus: Well, I don't have any answers for you. I'm only here to TEST you.

Gaol: Angel! It's the lord of the Underworld you oppose, yes?

Pit: Of course it is!

Gaol: Then concentrate on proving yourself, not what we're saying. Hold your questions for after you save the world.

(Pit defeats Magnus and Gaol.)

Pit: And that's the end of the BOTH of you!

Magnus: Not bad, angel face!

(Magnus and Gaol are teleported away.)

Pit: Where are you going?

(Palutena then warps in front of Pit and engages him in battle.)

Pit: Lady Palutena?! What are you doing here?

Palutena: Isn't it obvious, Pit? I'm here to finish you!

Pit: Do I really have to fight this imposter? I know you like making re-creations, but this is really in poor taste!

Dyntos: Oh, don't get all huffy now. Besides, if that Palutena is a copy, then where's the real Palutena?

Pit: Where she always is! Right, Lady Palutena? Uh... Lady Palutena?

Palutena: Time to die, Pit!

Pit: Oh, no... Don't tell me that IS the real Lady Palutena. Now what do I do? I don't really have to fight her, do I?

Palutena: It won't be a fight. It'll be a massacre!

(After Pit deals enough damage, Palutena's face becomes purple and grotesque, revealing herself to be Pseudo-Palutena.)

Pseudo-Palutena: You're finished!

Pit: What what WHAT?! Well, I'm glad I decided to attack!

(Pit defeats Pseudo-Palutena.)

Pit: You big fake!

Pseudo-Palutena: At least I'm beautiful!

Boss Battle
(Pit is teleported onto a large platform.)

Dyntos: Good job there, sonny!

Pit: There's just one trial left!

Dyntos: Yes, yes, I'm quite aware of that. Here it is. The Great Sacred Treasure.

(The Great Sacred Treasure flies in for Pit to see.)

Pit: You're just giving it to me? I don't have to do something horrible first?

Dyntos: That depends on your definition of "horrible."

(The Great Sacred Treasure strikes a battle pose.)

Pit: Wait! Don't shoot!

(The battle initiates.)

Pit: Dang! Now this is a trial!

Dyntos: Look alive out there, sonny! This is a far cry from the Three Sacred Treasures of old, eh? This beauty is made of pure orichalcum!

Pit: Oh, wow! ...I don't know what that is.

Palutena: Ungh...

Pit: Lady Palutena! You're all right!

Palutena: I don't know what happened. I must have fallen asleep.

Pit: What?! Since when do you nap on the job?

Palutena: You can thank Lord Dyntos for that little trick.

Dyntos: Why, you're very welcome, missy! You seem refreshed!

Pit: No way! You have the power to put THE GODDESS OF LIGHT to sleep?! This hardly seems like a fair fight!

(The Great Sacred Treasure teleports to the side of the platform and begins charging a massive attack.)

Palutena: Watch out, Pit!

(Pit avoids the attack.)

Pit: That was really close!

Dyntos: I told you this thing was powerful!

Palutena: But, Lord Dyntos... Aren't you worried about what might happen if this fell into the wrong hands?

Dyntos: Of course I am! That's why I'm testing this young warrior. I need to know if he has the skills and heart to operate the Great Sacred Treasure.

Pit: The Great Sacred Treasure is serious business!

Palutena: Instead of dodging its incoming shots, try running to the side. Anticipate where it will finish its movement, then hit it with a side-dash charged shot.

(Pit defeats the Great Sacred Treasure.)

Pit: Whoo hoo! And to the victor go the spoils!

Dyntos: Nicely done!

Epilogue
(Pit begins piloting the Great Sacred Treasure, eagerly zipping across the screen with it.)

Pit: Now THIS is where it's at!

(Dyntos appears on the platform with his back turned to Pit.)

Palutena: Oh, Lord Dyntos?

Dyntos: Yep, that's my name.

Palutena: That was quite a few enemies for "Three Trials," wouldn't you agree?

Dyntos: I might have thrown in a few freebies.

(Pit crashes the Great Sacred Treasure into the ground behind Dyntos.)

Palutena and Dyntos: Oh, dear.

(A light shines over the Great Sacred Treasure, whisking Pit away.)