Chapter 3: Heads of the Hewdraw/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the English version of Chapter 3: Heads of the Hewdraw.

Air Battle

(Pit rushes to the door to start the level.)

Palutena: Hurry, Pit!

Pit: What's the matter?

(Pit leaps through the door and flies into Underworld-infested skies.)

Palutena: Medusa has brought the fight to our realm. Her forces are invading Skyworld!

Pit: She must be getting back at us for taking down Dark Lord Gaol.

Palutena: Medusa's venom knows no bounds. But I know you can stop her Underworld Army.

Pit: You sure have a lot of faith in me, Lady Palutena.

Palutena: If you're struggling with a large group of enemies, you can use a Special Attack. Just tap a blue circle on the Touch Screen to launch one. It'll take out enemy fire too.

Pit: Don't these guys ever get tired?

Palutena: At this rate, the power of flight is going to expire before they do.

Pit: Then let's go after the commander!

Palutena: There's just one thing you should know. Their commander is Hewdraw.

Pit: Hewdraw? Like, this guy? ↓

(The Touch Screen displays the classic, 8-bit appearance of Hewdraw from the original Kid Icarus.)

Palutena: And speak of the devil—there he is!

(Hewdraw appears in the distance, flying with a group of Underworld troops.)

Pit: He can fly?

Palutena: I think the only one who can't fly by himself is you.

Pit: Ouch. That's harsh!

Palutena: Don't sulk, Pit. It's undignified. But you're right: attacking the leader is a good plan.

Pit: Let's do it!

(Pit flies in front of Hewdraw's heads.)

Blue Head: Hello there!

Purple Head: It's snack time!

Red Head: Mm! What a tender little morsel!

Pit: I am NOT a piece of meat!

Red Head: What did you say?

Purple Head: Technically, you are.

Blue Head: Just come a little closer.

Pit: Get ready, 'cause it's time for—

Red Head: Total annihilation!

Blue Head: Bone-crushing destruction!

Purple Head: Face-stomping carnage! It was MY turn to have the last word!

Blue Head: Oh, give it a rest.

Red Head: Let's not argue in front of company.

Purple Head: Cram a sock in it, foot face!

Blue Head: I'm soooo sick of you guys.

Red Head: Me?! What did I do?!

Blue Head: Knock it off already!

Red Head: YOU knock it off!

Purple Head: I can't believe this is my life.

Blue Head: Can we go home and watch TV now?

Red Head: Would everyone just shut it?!

Purple Head: Someone put me out of my misery.

Red Head: Did I mention I'm starving?

Purple Head: And you think we're not?!

(The heads continue to argue unintelligibly.)

Pit: Um... Now what?

Palutena: This is never going to end. Just go ahead and attack.

All three heads: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND FOCUS!

(Pit begins fighting the Three-Headed Hewdraw.)

• [If the Purple head is the only one remaining.]

Purple Head: Where did Lefty and Righty go?

Pit: You're all alone!

Purple Head: Whatever, I never liked those guys anyway.

• [If the Blue head is the only one remaining.]

Blue Head: Oh! I'm the only one left!

Pit: Actually, I'd say you're the only one right! ...Get it? Right?

Blue Head: No biggie. In fact, I feel great losing all that deadweight!

• [If the Red head is the only one remaining.]

Red Head: Gah! The other heads! You have no right!

Pit: Actually, I'd say YOU have no right!

Red Head: OK, that's it! You're going down!

• [If Pit starts taking too long to defeat Hewdraw.]

Palutena: You're running out of time.

Pit: Oh, no! Now what?!

Palutena: I'm readying my Palutena Glam Blaster for deployment. Once preparations are complete, I will launch an attack.

Pit: You don't have to do that! Let me handle it.

• [If Pit defeats the Purple or Red head last.]

Purple/Red Head: Aaaaaaaaaaugh!

• [If Pit defeats the Blue head last.]

Blue Head: Ow!

• [After Pit defeats the last Hewdraw head.]

Pit: And that's that!

Palutena: Not so fast. Hewdraw heads can live without a body. You'd better follow them.

• [If Pit still hasn't defeated Hewdraw and runs out of time.]

Palutena: OK, charging complete. The Sacred Goddess Clobberlaser is now ready for deployment!

Pit: Wait, I thought it was a Glam—

(A bright light engulfs Hewdraw, severing two of the heads and killing the other.)

Pit: YOOOOOOOW! You could have obliterated me!

Palutena: Oh, do you think I overdid it? Two of the heads got away. Hurry! After them!

(Pit dives down through the clouds.)

Palutena: The Underworld forces are retreating.

Pit: Mission accomplished!

Palutena: Far from it. Those two Hewdraw heads are still alive. They've plunged into the human world below and taken their legion with them!

Pit: Then we'd better do something!

(Pit flies down toward the surface, looking for the Hewdraw heads.)

Pit: Oh! Uh...

(He turns and notices the heads rampaging through That Burning Town.)

Pit: This is bad!

Palutena: Let's hurry. For a pair of disembodied heads, they sure move fast!

(Pit flies over the town.)

Pit: I don't see the Hewdraw heads anywhere! Where'd they go?!

Palutena: Don't lose YOUR head too, Pit. Let's check the town.

(Pit flies down toward his landing destination.)

Pit: Hoo-hooo-yah!

Land Battle

(Pit lands in the town.)

Pit: Herghhh.

Pit: The people have all gone into hiding, but where did those Hewdraw heads go?

Palutena: They could be anywhere. We need to stop them before they wreak even more havoc! As you search for them, take out any Underworld troops that cross your path.

• [If Pit waits around without proceeding.]

Palutena: There's an alley next to the rubble that you can pass through.

(Pit heads through the alley.)

Palutena: There's a courtyard ahead. You know the drill. Keep your eyes peeled for enemy attacks.

• [If Pit unlocks the level 4 Intensity Gate.]

Palutena: That way goes back to where you started.

• [If Pit approaches the Treasure Box inside the Intensity Gate and opens it.]

Pit: Sweet, sweet loot!

Palutena: Fortune smiles upon you.

• [If Pit defeats the Souflee that appears after opening the Treasure Box.]

Pit: Nice! I can really turn a profit taking those guys down!

Palutena: That was a Souflee. It's one sweet enemy. If you spot one, do everything you can to stop it from getting away.

(Pit approaches a Komayto.)

Palutena: Remember, Pit, you have to use melee attacks to take down Komaytos.

• [If Pit drops down into the hole to the right.]

Pit: Whoa-oa!

Palutena: That looks like a jump pad in there.

Pit: Get up, fall down. Get up, fall down. Fight in the air, fight on the ground.

Palutena: It's the story of your life, isn't it?

Pit: Peaks and valleys, highs and lows. Pick your friends, not your nose.

(Pit approaches several rows of Jump Pads.)

Palutena: There are jump pads ahead. String jumps together to make your way across the rooftops.

(After Pit jumps across the second Jump Pad.)

Pit: Woop! This is great! Yeah!

• [If Pit approaches the gate just beyond the Shemum vase and Minos.]

Pit: I don't think I can get through this way.

Palutena: There's another way in, but you'll need a key.

(Pit heads into an alley.)

Palutena: Watch out!

(A Hewdraw head suddenly barrels through the buildings.)

Pit: That came out of nowhere!

Palutena: You're going to need help against surprise attacks like that. Go to the courtyard ahead, and I'll grant you a gift.

Pit: Really?! That'd be great!

• [If Pit heads to the right and opens the Treasure Box.]

(A Merenguy appears.)

Palutena: That's an Underworld Merenguy.

Pit: Augh! I can't take my eyes off it!

Palutena: Its bewitching dance moves really grab your attention and hold on to it. Better make a point of taking it down first.

• [If Pit approaches the locked gate without the Key.]

Pit: It won't open...

Palutena: You need a key.

(Pit enters the courtyard.)

Pit: I'm ready for that gift now, Lady Palutena!

Palutena: All right then!

(The air is briefly filled with a heavy purple fog.)

Pit: Uh... What just happened?

(A Hewdraw head suddenly pops out of the ground.)

Hewdraw Head: Roooooar!

Pit: Aaaagh!

Palutena: Do you like the gift? It's my patented monster pheromone! Monsters just LOVE the smell of it. And now it's all over you!

Pit: What?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!

• [If Pit encounters the Violet Hewdraw head.]

Purple Head: Ooh! My goodness! What's come over me?

• [If Pit encounters the Blue Hewdraw head.]

Blue Head: Why, helloooo, angel!

• [If Pit encounters the Red Hewdraw head.]

Red Head: Did you do something with your hair? You're suddenly looking very attractive.

Palutena: Luckily, the pheromone only attracted one of the heads. I was wondering what you would've done if both of them had shown up.

Pit: And you still went through with it?! I would have been finished for sure!

Palutena: Despite my winsomeness and equanimity, I do have a strong streak of rascality.

Pit: I don't even know what that means!

• [Purple Head.]

Purple Head: I cannot resist you! You smell TOO GOOD!

Pit: Ew, back off!

Purple Head: But I just want to cuddle you...to death.

• [Blue Head.]

Blue Head: I never noticed this before, but you really have a certain je ne sais quoi.

Pit: I'm not sure what you mean by that...

Blue Head: It's French for I'm gonna eat you!

• [Red Head.]

Red Head: I have a special treat for you! But you have to come get it.

Palutena: Don't believe him, Pit!

Red Head: Why shouldn't he? Look at this face! I'm totally trustworthy!

(Pit defeats the Hewdraw head.)

Pit: Whew. That was dicey.

Palutena: I don't think I'll be using the monster pheromone in the future.

Pit: I would hope not!

Palutena: What I mean is that I won't need to use it.

Pit: Why do you say that?

Palutena: I located the other head. Let's go to the lake outside of town.

• [In the area with the Monolith after the courtyard, a weapon conversation or random conversation may trigger.]

(Pit jumps down into a sewer.)

Pit: What is this? A well?

Palutena: That's not important. Just keep moving forward.

(Pit approaches a couple of Shulms.)

Palutena: Watch out. Those Shulms give off a toxic cloud when they expire. Shoot them from a distance or melee them to avoid getting poisoned.

Palutena: The other Hewdraw head is regenerating its body at the lake.

Pit: You don't think it'll have three heads again, do you?!

Palutena: I should hope not. Their bickering was intolerable.

(Pit takes a Jump Pad up to a small rooftop.)

Palutena: It's an ambush!

Pit: Yeah, that's right! MY ambush! You're going down, monsters!

• [During the second wave of enemies, a weapon conversation or random conversation may trigger.]

• [If Pit avoided the Merenguy earlier on before the courtyard.]

(A Merenguy appears.)

Palutena: That's an Underworld Merenguy.

Pit: Augh! I can't take my eyes off it!

Palutena: Its bewitching dance moves really grab your attention and hold on to it. Better make a point of taking it down first.

(Pit walks down to the exit of the town.)

Palutena: I think we're finally close to the last Hewdraw head. Are you ready?

Boss Battle

(Pit rushes to the lake, where he encounters Hewdraw Reborn.)

• [If Pit encounters the Violet Hewdraw.]

Purple Hewdraw: So you've finished off the others, eh?

Pit: You know it!

Purple Hewdraw: Then you've saved the best for last. Let's get down to business!

• [If Pit encounters the Blue Hewdraw.]

Blue Hewdraw: So you took out my brothers.

Pit: Yep, sure did!

Blue Hewdraw: Wonderful, wonderful! Thank you so much! Now I'm finally free!

• [If Pit encounters the Red Hewdraw.]

Red Hewdraw: Well, well. So nice to see you again.

Pit: You won't feel that way for long!

Red Hewdraw: Hya ha ha ha haaa! That's big talk, little firecracker!

(The battle initiates.)

Palutena: Forward-dash attacks are very powerful. Look for openings to use them. But don't do a forward-dash attack when a fireball is headed at you.

(Hewdraw retreats underwater.)

Pit: It went underwater?!

Palutena: Here's an idea. Shoot the orange balls of light to make them drop down. We'll try to lure the Hewdraw out that way.

Pit: Will do!

(Pit shoots at the orange orbs, causing them to hit Hewdraw and draw it out of the water.)

Palutena: Now, Pit! Now!

Pit: Time to lay the smack down!

Pit: Those lasers sure are hard to avoid!

Palutena: Here's an idea: wait 'til the last moment possible, then dodge to the side. Dash when an enemy attacks to perform a dodge.

(Pit defeats Hewdraw.)

Pit: Mission complete!

Palutena: That's another one of Medusa's commanders out of the way.

Epilogue

(Hewdraw emerges from the water, glowing and shaking upon his defeat.)

• [If the Purple Hewdraw was fought and defeated.]

Purple Hewdraw: Look how far you've come, Pit. I'm proud of you.

(Hewdraw falls over and explodes, causing water to shoot up into the sky and rain down over Pit.)

Pit: Huh. You don't usually meet such nice bosses.

Palutena: Let's get you back.

• [If the Blue Hewdraw was fought and defeated.]

Blue Hewdraw: No! I'm too pretty to die.

(Hewdraw falls over and explodes, causing water to shoot up into the sky and rain down over Pit.)

Pit: And there you have it. Victorious.

Palutena: Good work. Let's be on our way.

• [If the Red Hewdraw was fought and defeated.]

Red Hewdraw: Before I die, I just wanna say—

(Hewdraw falls over and explodes, causing water to shoot up into the sky and rain down over Pit.)

Pit: And that's the end of him.

Palutena: I wonder what he was going to say.

(A pillar of light appears over Pit, whisking him away.)